Friday, December 31, 2010

YOU: On A Diet

Anyone ever read this book.  I did a couple years ago and it completely made sense to me and my weight problem.  Problem was I wasn't ready to do anything about it then.  Am I now?  I don't know.  It's difficult to be so successful in most areas of one's life, but to have one that is so out of control.  It really makes me wonder why do I let it be out of control?  When there is something in my life I want to change I take the bull by the horns and make it work.  I've taken the weight issue on SO many times and failed every time.  Not failed at losing weight.  I always lose weight.  I fail in keeping it off.  Ten years ago I struggled for 2 years in keeping it off.  Then slowly it started to creep up on me.  I felt like I had locked myself in a room and it was filling with water.  Very slowly week by week a little more water seeped in.  Until one day I was at the ceiling gasping for breath and I finally unlocked the door and let myself out.  I was so overwhelmed with disappointment.  I felt like watching what I ate had became so oppressive.  I was following the Weight Watcher plan.  I vowed about 5 years ago that I would never sign up with Weight Watchers again.  Not that their plan doesn't work, but that it doesn't work for me.

So, I've spent the last 5 years doing absolutely nothing about my weight.  I've just been living fat, dumb and basically happy.  What has happened to make me want to change my status yet again?  I'm going to be doing some flying in the next couple years.  I swore last time I flew I wouldn't be so big. 

I took a flight to visit some friends a couple years ago.  I'm sitting in coach on the aisle and I barely fit in my seat.  I wasn't lapping over into another's seat, but I was one piece of cheesecake away from it.  I felt like I had to fold my arms the entire flight to keep myself in my seat.  I literally had to hug myself to keep me in my seat. 

Even though the 6'4" man to my left felt no qualms about lapping over into my seat.  He was a normal weight for his size.  Just a big man.  I felt sorry for him having to sit next to me.  Had I been a normal weight he'd have been more comfortable.  Well, as more comfortable as a man can who has 6 foot long legs stuffed into coach seating.

I've never given up on myself.  I always had hope that I'll one day gain control of my weight problem.  And when I say I'll gain control I mean me, myself and I.  No one is going to help me.  I've talked to the doctor in depth about this issue and basically being overweight is looked at as easy as putting on a cast for a broken leg.  I get the "just don't eat so much" look all the time.  If only it were that easy!  I heard the other day that 1/3rd of the population is overweight.  So, if it were that easy don't you think it would be done.

I do a lot of difficult things in my life.  Why should this be any easier?  My doctor did say that I'm almost over weight enough to qualify to have my stomach stapled.  I looked at her quizzically... and said, "Are you saying I need to gain more weight to qualify to have my stomach stapled?!"  Wow is that the easy out?  I was shocked, dumbfounded and grateful that I didn't qualify.  I have 2 people close to me that have had their stomachs stapled.  One sailed through the surgery and weight loss.  She vomits a lot to this day though.  She actually looks great and feels great.  The other friend nearly died more than once after the surgery, because of the surgery.  He looks terrible.  He's my husband's friend and a man, so I don't feel like I can quiz him on why he looks terrible.  Some of it may have nothing to do with stomach stapling and other health issues.

I just feel like for myself stomach stapling is just not an option.  Not that I don't think I'll escape the melted candle look, but because I feel like why chance surgery and a possible life time of vomiting.  Yet, if I don't do something complications from being overweight may very well kill me.

Last summer I bought the new revised "You:  On A Diet."  I haven't even cracked it open.  I've wanted to many times, but just haven't.  So, I've decided to challenge myself to read the book every day for 30 minutes until it's finished.  I can read more if I feel like it, but a minimum of 30 minutes is required.  I will start today.

I'm not saying I'm going ON a diet.  I'm just going to read the book and see what happens from there.

1 comment:

Jan said...

I couldn't help noticing that you don't mention exercise which has always been the only way I can control weight. When I used to diet, my body would go into a starvation mode and store every calorie for impeding doom.

Exercise seems to kick my body into a higher metabolism and I don't get hungry now.

Power dog walking is perfect for me. We walk as fast as we can for 20 minutes away from the house and then walk a normal pace home. It's also fun.

Of course every person's body is different.