Looking Back At My 246 pound Self

Why didn't I exercise?  Why did I wait til I was so old to start?  The usual reasons I'm sure.  Exercise is hard.  Extremely hard.  Muscles get sore.  Truly sore.  One gets sweaty.  Definitely sweaty.  Like they say with drug addicts and alcoholics one has to hit rock bottom before they will affect real change in their life.  I wouldn't say I had hit rock bottom, but I could see it coming.  I could almost reach out and touch it.  Using the lessons I was learning from those around me it was a matter of time before a major health problem would force me to make a change.  Right then and there I was fairly healthy.  No high blood pressure.  No diabetes.  No strokes.  Just an absent gall bladder.  I decided to exercise.

Yes it was hard.  I told myself day in and day out I just had to do it like any other chore I didn't want to do.  I didn't know why it seemed so difficult to get me to do it.  After I had lost some weight my Dr. said wow great job.  Bet you just love exercise now.  I said, "No.  I could quit today and it wouldn't bother me."

Yes, my muscles were sore.  Every week my quads and triceps seems to be so sore I could barely operate my legs and arms properly.  The first 8 months I asked a trainer weekly

when will this end?  Will this ever end?  I thought if this is what exercise means I just don't want to endure it the rest of my life.

Yes, I get sweaty.  This I just had to get use too.  I find it goes in waves.  I'm sweatier at different times of the year.  Most of the time just a regular amount of sweat.  Some times I feel like and NFL linebacker at training camp.  Soaked to the skin.  Other times I barely break a sweat.

It's been nearly 3 years since I decided to exercise and I've kept it up.  I now know I have to.   I've found exercise is not physically difficult.  It's more mentally difficult.  Getting myself to just do it.  First off I give myself no choice.  It's on the calendar.  I have my toys, ipod, heart rate monitor, Fitbit these items help to entertain my mind and get me through it.  Most of the time I'm gung-ho to get it done.  Times when I want to leave before a proper workout I make deals with myself.  I'm very competitive even with myself.  Things like "burn 500 calories and you can go home," "use this machine to the 15 minute mark and you can stop," "walk on the treadmill for 3 miles and you can call it quits."

I still get minorly sore, but rarely if ever so sore I can't operate my body properly.  My trainer will work me hard and say "You'll be sore tomorrow."  I'll see her a couple days later "Nope not sore."  I'm finally in that good of shape.  This I can endure for the rest of my life.

Sweaty, yes still a reality of being human.  I make sure to wear clothes that absorb sweat.  Some like to wear very little to stay cool.  Me, I can't stand the feeling of dripping sweat.  Of skin sticking to sweaty skin or skin sticking to a mat.  I wear a t-shirt.  It catches the drips.  I can pick up the neck of my t-shirt when needed and wipe my face.  I wear cotton capris.  Shorts just don't catch the dripping sweat the way I like.  I wear cotton underwear.  Yes, TMI, but most necessary.  I also remind myself I'm only going to be sweaty for about 90 minutes or so and a cool enjoyable shower is waiting for me at home.  I have wonderful smelling shampoo and shower gel to bring me back to feeling great.

Like hiking the coast with my honey

I've found ways to get through it.  Could I stop tomorrow and never go back?  Mentally, I'd like to.  Physically I just couldn't.  I enjoy being in shape and able to do pretty much whatever I want in life.